To Drive or Not To Drive ….

That is THE question. If we live long enough, we reach that point when the question becomes reality. Unfortunately, for some the reality comes at the point of impact.

As we age our reflexes slow. Our thought processes begin to wander. Our short term memory becomes erratic. Lapses in memory that, when we were young, were humorous are becoming more problematic, not humorous at all. Our livelihood is diminished. We become more dependent upon others. It is simply the natural progression of things.

Or, more aptly, the natural decay or decline of humanity. The reality of what is happening is painfully obvious. Just look in the mirror. The wrinkles. The sagging skin. The greying or white hair. The love handles that truly are not. The prescription meds for high blood pressure, diabetes, thyroid problems, COPD, and the bottles, they do stack up. Oh, and we stumble more.

The 60’s start us considering impending retirement. We have started feeling life or the lack thereof just a bit more. But there’s still time to think about those things later. Truth is we should have started thinking about those things at age 30 not age 60.

The 70’s bring their own special brand of crazy as everything gets just a tiny bit worse. Just add a leaky bladder, farts that are surprisingly not farts, swelling feet, ankles, calves and knees, as well as the stomach that has decided it does not like anything it used to find just yummy and comfy. The taste buds seemed to have left town with the teeth.

The 80’s introduce us to the walker or rollerater. They keep us steady if they are fitted properly to our height and weight. They keep us slightly bent forward and remind us we are less than ….

We are less than what we were and the one place we are fully accepted is that warehouse. Heaven’s waiting room?! Where the dead go to die?! The nursing home, of course. Thinking about it like that does not endear it to our heart.

The 90’s brings more of the same only more intense. The memory has faded. The body is failing. Getting up requires effort. A lot of effort. Waking brings on the, “Oh, my! I’m still here” response. Or something equally repulsive.

At this point, if one is still driving, it begs the question, “How?” We all know why. Driving is freedom. It’s the last vestige of “I’m still viable and alive!” We can get up and still go. We are not dead yet. There are still places to go. People to see and to be seen.

We tend to think more about the hereafter and the here for. We do wonder what we are here for. I mean if I can not do the things I did nor be who I was. What good am I really. The hereafter cannot be ignored as it must be faced by us all.

If there is no relationship with the Creator then there is little reason to be in the here or in the hereafter. But that is the subject of many more discussions.

Back to driving. When do we need to stop driving? When we reach a certain age, or when we reach a certain level of disability? To be frank, disability is probably the way to go. Failing eyesight is the first indicator. If you cannot see, you cannot navigate. Manual dexterity limitations inhibit turning the steering wheel, just as muscle atrophy limits how quickly you can move your foot from the accelerator to the gas or how well you can look behind the car as you back up.

Perhaps if we were not so afraid of the unknown, of death itself, we would not be quite so fearful of the aging (decaying) process. The only way to lose fear of the unknown is to get to know it. Get to know the only One Who can be in control of both life and death.

Staring at the Screen or Whatever For?

And no, I do not know why I am sitting here, wondering why I am sitting here. I just keyed in a string of ambiguous nonsense, so there must be something simmering in that grey matter called my brain or that reddish muscular pumping organ called my heart.

It is a bit sad to know that simply moments ago, these magnificent ideas for a blog post were rushing out of my mind and cascading into an abyss never to be heard from …. again …. well, maybe not until I am in heavy traffic with no way to write or at 3:13 in the morning when I rapidly dismiss thoughts and ideas in order to make it to the bathroom in time.

Speaking of 3:00 in the morning. That is a time that frequently awakens me. I read somewhere a bunch of years ago that that time is the best time to pray. It was an article in a magazine. A magazine is one of those paper things we used to hold in our hands, turn pages and read from. That explanation is for all of you who are under 20 and never held a comic book.

The internet is fascinating but I do miss my dependence upon books. Those trips to the library to do research on whatever topic inspired me to write, read or just waste time were cherished, particularly when I was a teenager and needed an excuse to leave the house. The library was it. It was a place of adventure. Columns of books. Thousands of them. And I could touch them all. I could escape in my mind with no one knowing where I was going.

The internet, on the other hand, with its cookies and trackers, hackers and predators, as well as all the other monsters out there in cyberspace, knows not only who you are, but where you have been and an algorithm has already plotted out where you are probably going and where you will shop along the way. I am not particularly fond of it. But ….

Yes, but, you can easily self-publish a book. Write things in blogs that other people read and find out things that, left on your own, you probably never really wanted to know anyway.

And this ends my therapy session for now. Besides, I have nothing left to say. Not right now, anyway. Find something constructive to do with your time. Visit a library. And read a book.

Prayers and GOD BLESS!!

Have You Reached Your Limit?

Few of us

I started this post on November 18, 2017 and the above is as far as I got.  I guess I had reached my limit that day.  And I am bound to reach my limit just as quickly today.  Today is Thursday.  It is trash day.  It is the day that the church people come with the weekly meal.  It is the day after Wednesday and the day before Friday.  It is Thursday.

When do you know you have reached your limit?  It varies, does it not?  When eating or drinking anything, your body should let you know when that limit is reached.  Running or any type of physical activity will let your body notify you when you have reached your limit.  It is the mental stress activities that we seem unable to read the signs that say, “Enough.”   It is only when some garbled version of “ENOUGH!” is shouting, no screaming at us to stop when we even slow down enough to think about what is going on.

Any event in our life can become consuming of our time and thought processes.  Only when those around say silly things like, “You look like you need a break!” do we even consider that really might be the case.  When friends, sometimes even acquaintances, start offering to help you take a break, you definitely NEED a break!

From October 2000 to April 2001 I helped out my Mom after she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.  I flew her home with me from the hospital.  At the time I was staying with my mother-in-law who did not want to go into a nursing home.  I took my Mom to Chemo treatments and days when she did not have one, I worked in the office.  I held a full time job and took care of both of them and thought nothing of it.  It was not stressful.  It all had to be done and it was all working.  It actually worked better with both of them there because they kept each other company.

It was not until after my Mom went back home that things kind of started falling apart.  My mother-in-law had no one to talk to while I was working and she did things she ought not do.  That is when the stress set in and she decided to leave her own home to get away from me.  I find that somewhat humorous now.  Back then it was just a relief.  Her companion was gone.  She was lonely.  And I, well, I was me.  I was the “wicked bitch of the south” constantly on her about her diet, about feeding my overweight dog, and a thousand other things I just had to bring up.  I had reached my limit and no one could see the signs well enough to tell me.  If they did, it was a case of “Not me! I’m not saying nothin’!”

Far too often, we have to be the one to say when it is time for a break.  We have to be an adult and admit that we do not have super powers.  We have to say “GOD, I need a break.  Please show me how to admit to myself that I do not have the responsibility of the World upon my shoulders.”

We are after all just human.  Man or woman, we can only do so much.  Sometimes we can do more, but this time we need a break.

Today is Wednesday

Some day I will die. That is just a fact of life. Fairy tales about people living forever or being immortal here on Earth do not ring true with me. No, I am not sick and suffering from some dread disease. What I am is an old realist. No matter how hard we try, we cannot outrun the inevitable.

Shortly after my son learned to walk we got a harness for him and used it when we took him out with us. He was able to run free for about four feet, but we still had control of him. There was not much he could do without us reining him in.

My relationship with GOD is much like that. Scripture tells us that HE will never leave us nor forsake us. I believe HIM, HIS Word, everything. There are things that I do not fully understand, some that totally elude my feeble mind. But like my son who believed me, I believe GOD. GOD has me tethered to HIM. I can stray, but not too far. If I pull against the tether long enough I can stretch it just a bit and wiggle my toes near the fire of disobedience. That is when the tug on the tether reminds me I have gone too far. If my toes get burned bad enough, HE will, like any good Father, take me to HIS home permanently. Earthly fathers cannot do anything permanent but GOD can and does. Fear not the one who can only kill the body but, definitely fear THE ONE who can kill both body and soul.

The Loss of Personal Responsibility

This started as a reprint of a post of what I learned from the failed crazed woman’s march on DC January, 2017. It was what I had learned from the outspoken lunatic women of that march that failed to actually speak coherently and bring a cohesive message to the attention of all who watched.

What I did not learn is essential. I did not learn the actual source of their fear and anger. The speakers were not articulate as much as they were angry and fearful and spewing garbage just for applause, screams of laughter and jeers for the object of their scorn who happened to be a man.

They appeared to do what many women have done throughout the ages. They blame a man for their misfortune. In this case they blame a man with whom they had absolutely no relationship. It appears that women have not been liberated at all. What we women need to learn is that liberation does not come from outside of ourselves. Liberation is not dependent upon our release from a physical location nor from our real or imagined physical bonds. Liberation, true liberation comes from within. We are only liberated when we are free within. Not free to do whatever we want, whenever we want, but free to learn, free to become our best.

It also appeared that, on that day, a woman’s freedom was dependent upon a woman acting like those women thought a woman should act. And that is not freedom either. Freedom has a boundary and that boundary means that we do not enslave another in our version of freedom. If we can change their mind through honest debate or by our own actions, fine. But we are not free to bully another into submission.

Personal responsibility applies to women just as it applies to men. Just as one cannot cry fire in a crowded room when there is no fire, how is it right for a man or woman to cry rape when they walk naked through a frat party? We have all kinds of excuses why it is right for one to do so and allow no room for personal responsibility.

Advertising, greed and power based news, ignorant laws favoring the accused, faulty teaching in the churches, Marxist agendas unleashed by professors in colleges on ignorant students, awkward and dysfunctional families, little or no parenting skills, no boundaries and ignorance have all played a part in reducing personal responsibility to nothing more than a phrase used by fringe groups bent on restricting freedom.

Women have such aberrant ways of trying to draw attention to their plight. They burned their bras publicly to announce their freedom. That would be equivalent with men burning their jock straps. And it would make about as much sense. They walked topless through subways just to show they could because men went shirtless. This was hailed as new found freedom. Is it? Or is it just a redo of the Roaring Twenties, a remake of the Can-Can girls of France and a copy of the brothels of old? Why do we feel that burning desire to lie to ourselves? I can understand lying to the public, but why must we try to tell ourselves that our freedom must rely upon being unashamedly stupid? It is stupidity. Ignorance can be mended with knowledge. Stupid is willful and totally denying there might just be a better way.

Mid Morning and Rainy

It is one of those days that fluctuates between sadness, hope and contemplation. Sadness beacuse it reminds us that all is not sunshine and cool breezes. Hope because water reminds us of washing away the dirt of the day and Baptism which shows the world that we belong to the Savior. Contemplation because it causes a slow down of activity giving us time to think about many things.

When you get past the sadness, missing home, missing loved ones who have either moved away or precede you in death, missing your youth, you may realize that none of that can be changed. At least the parts that are in the past cannot. Your perception of where you are and why you are there can and maybe should change.

Hope causes us to have, well, hope. Hope is the simple belief that things will be better. Maybe not what we expect, but better. Salvation gives us hope. Blessed Hope. Not a little hope but HOPE as big as Eternity.

Contemplation, thinking about what has transpired and what will. We can condition ourselves to deal with possible situations if we look at all possibilities.

Within the society of today, life can be considered dangerous, or at the least hazardous. A walk in the park, a jog in the neighborhood, a simple trip to the store for a loaf of bread or pack of diapers can turn deadly. Regardless or inspite of the desire for some to create imagined “safe spaces” for some but not for all, we now have no “safe spaces” for anyone.

Fear has become a replacement for Hope. GOD is being denied HIS rightful place in the World. Without even a modicum of belief in GOD and all HE is, life has no meaning. If life has no meaning, then all things no matter how evil are allowed with no eternal repercussions.

As Christians it is our belief and Hope in GOD and the Ultimate Salvation freely given to us by HIS SON’S sacrifice on the Cross of Calvary. HE died so we could truly live.

Although we are not removed from all of the storms of life, HE will walk with us through the storm. It is an odd concept for those who are not believers or those who have never had a tsunami of a snot-storm in their life. Life is filled with unexpected joy and despair sometimes from the same event. The Earthly death of a loved one brings despair as we miss them terribly and cannot seem to find our way. Tears flow as there is a seeming unending pit filled with nothing. The joy comes from hope. The knowledge that the one we lost professed Salvation and lived their life as a true follower of THE MESSIAH, THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, means that the Blessed Hope is simply that they are with our LORD AND SAVIOR and we will see them again.

Until tomorrow.

And Again, It’s Been Awhile…

As life moves forward despite our best efforts to slow it down, one begins to wonder, “exactly where has time gone?” It certainly does seem to slip away. One day you are 6, laying on the grass staring into the evening sky wondering where your real parents are and when are they coming back for you. A week later there you are 76 and wondering what the grandchildren are doing and, “could I lay upon that soft carpet of grass again? And if I do, can I get back up?”

Queen Elizabeth II has passed away at 96. Charles is now King. Another event in the life of the planet.

Anyway, back to my meanderings. In spite of my missteps, grandiose disobedience, total disregard for the natural order of things (on occasion), minor brushes with the wrong side of the law, at least 3 life and death situations and a mega host of open-mouth-insert-foot instances, I have survived. Only by the GRACE OF GOD have I survived.

At 16 the year 2000 was never a thought in my mind as a possibility for my life on this planet. And yet here it is 2022. It is actually a bit of a disappointment. The world is in turmoil and mostly due to ignorance in governance. When Star Trek was popular, I wanted to believe that we too would become better and use our scientific discoveries for the benefit of all mankind. We would overcome our differences, be accepting of others for their abilities and not be… well, be what we are. Human. We would be better humans or better than human. Neither wish came true.

That is what we are. We are not Vulcan, nor Klingon, nor Andorian, nor Trill, just human. Our planet is not androgynous. We are male or female with some anomalies. We are not humanoid. We are not human-like. We are human. And it still brings us back to, “What ARE we supposed to do while we are HERE?”

While there are many differing opinions, some based upon Spiritual values, some not so much, we could all agree on one thing. This is not Star Trek and there can be only one true answer. So, maybe that is two things or just two parts of one truth.

Full disclosure: I am a Christian. I believe in the HOLY BIBLE as GOD handed it down to the human hand to write in words that mere humans could understand – eventually. I believe that it is all true, in spite of my lack of understanding of many parts. Scripture is the only thing that gives me peace and a sense of well-being. Scripture is the only thing that lets me know there is a plan in place and there is an Ultimate Winner. There are rules to live by that humans did not write which means humans may not revoke nor change the rules to suit their whims and whimsies. And just because they try does not make it true. Truth is true whether you believe it or not. Try not believing in gravity and walk off a cliff. Unless you have a jet pack or a parachute, that abrupt stop at the bottom, will prove gravity exists. Even if you have a parachute or jet pack, you still come down but with a softer landing.

There is a Heaven and a Hell as well as a Judgement Day. We will all be judged. There is only one way to stay out of Hell and go to Heaven and that is through the shed blood of THE MESSIAH on the Cross of Calvary about two thousand years ago.

And that is all I have for today. Thank you for reading.